Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in qzee's InsaneJournal:

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Saturday, April 11th, 2009
3:44 pm	bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 26th, 2009
1:58 pm	*finishes evil plotting, prepares to put it into action* (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
12:43 pm	*plots some more* *possibly evil plots* (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
1:00 pm	*plotting* (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 14th, 2007
11:56 am	Title: You're Still Beautiful to Me Fandom: Star Trek Enterprise Rating: NC-17, as in Adult Content Pairing: Archer/Reed Summary: Malcolm and Jon have been married fifty years and are still in love. Beta: Jenniferlupin Disclaimer: The show and its characters belong to Paramount. No profit is being made from this story and no infringement is intended. Author's notes: Malcolm and Jon married just after their first five year mission, making Jon 102 and Malcolm 90. A very slight Mary Sue appears, as the nurse in here shares my real-life name. I've been reassured that the nurse cheerfully stays in the background and isn't too Mary Sueish. Inspired in part by the song You're Still Beautiful to Me by Bryan Adams and various couples I've observed in the nursing home in which I work. Now, onto the story.( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
3:33 pm	I shall be going on a cemetary tour tonight. It goes for an hour and a half, is at a cemetary nearby and only costs $5. It should be cool and maybe a bit spooky. It should also be interesting. I love learning a little bit about local history and this should contribute a bit to that. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 31st, 2007
5:45 pm	Old computer is dead, long live the new computer! Okay, I need to build up my bookmarks. I need anything you, my flist have, on the following fandoms: Star Trek, all series - especially the following pairings: Spock/McCoy, Data/Geordi, Garak/Bashir, Archer/Reed, Tucker/Reed, Tuvok/Paris, Chakotay/Paris, Paris/Kim. Harry Potter, Snape/Harry, Snape/Lupin sites a working link to adult fanfiction and fanfic net Joxer related fanfic in the Xena fandom Seaquest fanfic I also need a link to the postsecret site, dominic keating related information. I would also love any and all pictures you may have or links to pictures of Dominic Keating, Scott Bakula, Ted Raimi, Spock/McCoy pics, Archer/Reed pics, Tucker/Reed pics, Joxer pics, Julian Bashir pics, Garak, Sisko and O'Brien pics. If any of you have copies of Bashir/O'Brien fics by the lady who wrote a series of fics on them together, including fics where Keiko and Miles are with him, her penname includes the word blue, I'd love to have them, one of them called Diamond Wall. Also, chvickers if you have copies of your Bashir/O'Brien and your Sisko/Bashir fanfic available, I'd love to have them. And if anyone has a link to the site with Julian Bashir pregnant with the O'Brien's son fanfic, I'd love it, firefrog's fic? and the site with fanfic of people of colour - including a sisko/bashir story, I'd love it. I also need a link to Kathryn Ramage's fanfic and if anyone knows her current e-mail addy, I'd appreciate that. that's it for the moment. Except, reedfem, a link to your lovely pictures of men site? Please, thanks. Oh, and a link to the lady with all the Harry Potter fanfic gathered into subsections of mpreg, animagus fic, harry rescued from the dursley's fic, courtship fic, etc., would be much appreciated. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 29th, 2007
1:52 am	NOOOOOOOOSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! computer has died, a computer tech will be over on Tuesday to see if he/she can resurrect it, but I can not guarantee that it can be. I tried turning it on today and though the tower cycles through, my computer screen says "no signal" I tried unplugging and replugging all screen cables and sadly it did not do anything. The computer tech thinks its a hard drive problem. I can only hope I won't have to get a new compy, as I can not really afford one at this time and would have to put it on credit card and pay it off over two or three months. I can only hope I can rescue my data, as I have a lot on there. Most I can find and save again, some I can get from my flist and some would be hopelessly lost if I can not resurrect the compy at least for a short while. I will be off line at least until Tuesday, and back on then if my compy can be resurrected. Earliest time on, if it can't be resurrected will be Wednesday/Thursday, with a new compy. *hugs* I'll miss you all. (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
12:13 am	Capital Ex I spent most of today at a summer event called Capital Ex. Which has displays, a fairground, lots of music and lots to see. I had a bit of a picnic lunch with me, so the first thing I did was sit down at a table and eat it. I then went to the butterfly exhibit, which cost an extra $3 to get in, but was worth every penny. I went in and right away a butterfly landed on the back of my neck and tickled me with its wings and feet. Another landed on my hand. I walked along with my butterfly friends and came across a lady in a motorized scooter who was virtually covered in butterflies. They had several kinds of butterflies, Owl eyes, the ones that seemed to like me, some blue butterflies - none of which landed on me, and some yellow ones - one of which visited me for awhile. There were several little girls in there, covered in butterflies and thrilled about it. A boy who showed me how to get a butterfly to crawl onto my hand and a girl about one and a half to two who showed me the butterfly she had and told me all about it. She said the butterfly's name was Princess. I told her that the butterfly chose to land on her and visit her because she was special and beautiful and good. She smiled and talked to me for a bit before her mother hurried her along. I then watched the White Buffalo Dancers, a metis group that demonstrates jigs dance. Kids from the age of six to fourteen. Paired up in couples, one of them same-sex. I also listened to a very good fiddler in that pavillion - the First Nations pavillion. I bought a ridiculously priced necklace and key chain, but both were worth the money. The necklace string is made of deer hide, it has purple, dark blue light blue and yellow beads on it, made by the seller himself, as well as a brass bead, it also has a bit of elk horn hanging off of it. It's very pretty and the first necklace that I've bought that feels comfortable to wear. I held the elkhorn bit in my palm for awhile before buying it and it felt "right". The keychain is a miniature dream catcher, beautiful and intricate. I also got a hand painted card from there of mountains against a redish gold sky, very beautiful. I headed over to listen to the Blues Brothers revival group - a take off of Dan Akroyd's group by two pretenders and they were terrible, so I left to go find a seat in the pavillion where the Peking Acrobats would be performing. Found a seat in the bleachers and waited. They were amazing. I was more impressed by the ladies than the men, because the ladies were all about working together, doing impressive balancing feats, were very flexible and graceful all at the same time. One lady was particularly good at balancing things while being flexible and graceful. You could tell that they had to concentrate a lot and be very focussed. I then went to have supper in the First Nations pavillion, where I got chili, Bannock, and two coffees for $8.50. A great price. I also stumbled upon a performance by Dallas Arcand, who has an album out called KrayKree. He's an extraordinary performer and singer, his songs have some connection to his culture and, in addition to singing, he danced in the traditional way. First the Sacred Circle dance, with one hoop. It is traditional for families to sit in circles, set up their summer Teepees in circles, and dance in circles, to pay tribute to the great circle of life Mother Earth set up. He then did the four seasons/races dance, to pay tribute to all cultures in attendance. Then the Moon dance, with thirteen hoops to pay tribute to the thirteen moons there are in every year. Each dance was very intricate and energetic. As an aside, in the First Nations culture, dancing is a calling, not just something you do for fun. After his concert was over, Tom Jackson came on and sang. I sat and listened to him for a half hour, then bought a couple of Dallas Arcand's CD's, since I liked him so much. He has bits of his work at aboriginalentertainment.com and my space-albertahouse/.com. One song of his that I really liked is called I will never say goodbye. In fact, this is a tradition in his culture, where there isn't even a word for goodbye. Instead they say, "I'll see you later" for they believe they will see you either in this lifetime or in the great beyond. I then wandered across to the far end of the fair grounds to get into position to see Wierd Al! Yay! I love him, really I do. He did a lot of my favourites, including Amish Paradise, White and Nerdy, the Yoda song, the Jedi song, I'm Fat, etc. He was on for almost two and a half hours. It was an amazing performance and he put a lot of himself into it. I think he's in saskatoon next, and in Vancouver September 14th, or thereabouts. I was on "the floor" and had an amazing time, dancing to his songs, singing, catching glimpses of him every now and then, past the six foot tall man standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME for nearly the entire show. If you ever have a chance to go see him in person, do so, it's well worth the time. After the Weird Al concert, I waded through thousands of people to get to a bathroom before heading home. I took 100 dollars with me to spend, with the intent that would be all I spent and I would have been able to stick to that if I hadn't lost my bus pass, a fact I discovered when I looked for it while I was in the bathroom. I had to take out $20 dollars from one of those ATMs that charge you $3.00 for the privelege and then buy a diet coke I didn't want or need, to get change for the bus. This fact didn't even dent my "Oh my god, I had an awesome, wonderful day" feeling, for I can get a book of bus tickets tomorrow and they'll last me the rest of the month. I had a great time at the Ex this year, and it's because of all the amazing things I got to see and do there. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 22nd, 2007
3:07 pm	It would have been fun if somewhere in Deathly Hallows Harry said, "I wish I could quit you, too, Ron." feel free to replace Ron's name with any other male character. (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 21st, 2007
6:31 pm	Harry Potter book seven SPOILERS OF DOOM! WARNING! SPOILERS CONTAINED WITHIN OF HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS. DO NOT READ IF YOU WISH TO REMAIN UNSPOILED! ( Spoilers! ) COMMENTS WILL, MORE THAN LIKELY, CONTAIN SPOILERS. (Comment on this)
11:12 am	Book Seven I got the book at midnight last night, I started reading it about 1 am. Could not put it down. Was on the edge of my seat for the whole thing. It is THAT good. NO SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS, PLEASE. for those who have not read it yet. Thanks. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 20th, 2007
4:02 pm	Knotty Tangles I see you going away from me A little bit at a time Wisps of memories ever falling From your fingertips To drop into nothingness Confusion and anxiety bite at you Chewing at your mind Weighing you down and dragging me under Knotty tangles twist in your brain Strangling every thought you have Making you slip away Every moment of every day A little bit more of you dissolves Leaving you a stranger to yourself Leaving me here unable to help And aching for you All we have is our memories All we are is made up of memories And yours are slipping away Falling from your fingertips Dissolving into nothingness Where confusion and anxiety reign Tearing at you Until you are not quite you anymore This is ever so terrible But more terrible still Is that sometimes you come back For a moment or two And then slip away again The knotty tangles taking you away Leaving you bereft of the memories You once held so dear. C.A. Erickson *inspired by the movie Away From Her, a story about a man who's wife has early onset Alzheimer's. (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 12th, 2007
11:33 pm	WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm on vacation, as of today. My first day back is August 6! *happy dance* I really need the time off to relax and do whatever I want to do. (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 7th, 2007
5:55 pm	I went for a walk today and stumbled upon a farmer's market. Got myself some fresh carrots and peas, resisted the pies they wanted to sell me and headed home. Now I'm craving pie. Help me resist, please? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007
10:09 am	I'm home! The bus ride to Grande Prairie, where my mom lives, was nice. I saw a few deer on the side of the road. The memorial service was lovely. Rather than a formal service we had several people sharing their memories of my step-father. We then had a buffet and ended up with a lot of left over food, which was donated to the indigent (homeless) who hang out at my step-father's favorite bar. My mom asked me to write a poem for the service, I wrote two and she asked me to read one of them at the service, the other was more for her alone. ( The poem I read at the service ) The day after the service we headed out to his favorite lake, Haig lake to camp out there a few days and scatter his ashes there. It's a beautiful place, with spruce, pine, poplar, birch and other trees, bushes, wildflowers - including bluebells and wild roses. There are a few camping spots, but none have an outhouse, no electrical outlets and you bring your own water and firewood or collect it there. It's quite, private, and I enjoyed the short break from work. Enjoyed looking out at the trees and the lake and just thinking. His sons, one of his nephews and his nephew's boyfriend joined us. To plant a cross the boyfriend made out of wood - very nice cross, name carved into it, laminated card with my step-father's picture and the obituary printed on it, fastened to the centre. One son built a small campfire about six feet away from the cross, in honour of him. Both sons set empty bear cans on either side of the cross, pouring the last of the beer over the ashes (my step-father's favorite brand). My mom scattered some of the ashes from the cross to the campfire and back and some in the lake. I hugged her after because this was hard for her. Once back at the campsite I wrote a poem about the place we put the cross, that I am to send to both sons and my mom, along with a copy of the poem I read at the funeral. ( the poem about the place where we put the cross ) I'm glad I went to be there for my mom and to say goodbye to my step-father. Now, I don't think I can go through my flist to see what all you were up to while I was gone. As it has been a week since I read it last and it averages 75 entries a day, so drop a line here if you went through anything interesting, life-changing, did something fun, or just to say hi. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 26th, 2007
9:17 am	Thanks to all who expressed sympathy on my step-father's passing. I am about to head out the door on my way to my mom's. She lives about a 5 hour bus ride from here. I'll be back Tuesday, July 3. I won't have access to a computer while I'm gone, so, *twitch* internet withdrawal here I come. Bye for now. (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 23rd, 2007
11:52 am	My mother just phoned me a couple of minutes ago. Her husband (my step-father) passed away this morning after a month long illness. He was a very good guy and reminded me at times of my grandfather, her father. We all went camping together once, for a week and had a great time together. I got to know him a bit better and loved his sense of humour. I called my office and was able to book off from work starting on Wednesday to be back the Monday after. I'm hoping this will coincide with the funeral, but if not, at least I will be there with my mom for a few days. My older sister will be here Tuesday, sometime, staying over the night and then leaving with me Wednesday morning. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
11:00 pm	Empty My heart is weighed down With heavy regret That cannot be relieved My soul is slowly drowning In unshed tears Unable to reach for hope My heart aches severely Lashed again and again With misplaced blame My feet drag as I walk Aimlessly with no goal No destination to aim towards My heart screams unheard With words I can not express And yet need to get out My head swirls dizzily As thoughts twist about Tying themselves in knots. My heart struggles uselessly As anxiety tears at it Trying to get free And oh Oh how it hurts To need to be heard When there is no one With ears to listen To the words I cannot speak. *note, written shortly after comforting a patient about a good friend who committed suicide. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 17th, 2007
12:31 pm	Thoughts and Dreams Drifting aimlessly with the gentle breeze Lost in thoughts and dreams Thoughts and dreams surround me Encase me in thick fog Separating me from life Separating me from reality Joy is a figment of imagination Sadness is a far off bitter smell Swirling confusion within my mind Swirling nothingness within my soul Birds chatter in the tree Standing outside my window A tree I dare not look at For it is vibrant and alive Growing, changing and strong And I am stagnant today Motionless Caught up in thoughts and dreams That tie me inexorably in place So that I have no energy No ambition But to sit or lie or stand alone Thinking and dreaming Recharging for the week ahead Allowing myself to rest To lay dormant and fallow As dreams and thoughts encase me In a thick healing fog So I may discover joy May breath in the scent bitter sadness Once again and live Grow, change and one day soon Find my way through the thick Encasing fog that surrounds me And make sense of my thoughts and dreams. (Comment on this)